Why you should sugarcoat the Negatives…
Cookie: wide-eyed, stares at the ceiling.
Dandy: “What are you thinking?”
Cookie: “I’m thinking of the crocodile… He goes aaav aaav aaav to bite, right?”
Dandy: “Yeah, but don’t worry, he won’t bite you.”
Cookie: “Can you keep me safe? Can you bite him?”
Dandy: (squeezing him) “Of course! I can eat him for you.”
Cookie: “But you’ll get a tummy ache…”
Dandy: “Don’t worry, Cookie. I can just let out some…”
Cookie: “I will be very mad at you. Don’t be naughty like that… Don’t fart on the crocodile, he’s in the zoo.”
Dandy: “What’s he doing there?”
Cookie: “He’s playing on the swing and the slide.”
(Still not asleep.)
Dandy: “What are you thinking of now?”
Cookie: “The dinosaur… roar roar”
Dandy: “Cookie, why think of things that scare you? Why not think of things you like?”
Cookie: “I don’t like dinosaurs. I like the stars and the moon.”
(Cookie starts singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.)
Dandy: “Did you know you’re made from the stars?”
Cookie: “I may look like a star, but I’m not a real star.”
Dandy: “Why?”
Cookie: “Because… I’m a butterfly!”
(And now Dandy is half asleep, but Cookie is still wide awake.)
Seeing a child shift their focus from fear to peace with a little nudge from us is always satisfying, isn’t it? Have you noticed how easily they forgive and forget? Meanwhile, we adults hold on to our emotions like piling laundry—grudges, worries, regrets, fears, hurt, this list can go on…
We struggle to let go. It’s as if we’ve forgotten how. We soothe ourselves by searching for comfort outside—in food, screens, endless distractions. But what if we made it a habit, a nightly ritual, to look inside for that peaceful place?
Can we create a cozy little mental nook filled with stars and moons? Or maybe a beach, a forest, or a mountain stream? Whatever it looks like for you. It takes courage… to sit with things we want to avoid. But what if we can make it a place where we can transform those nagging negative emotions into something… well, a little less nagging and a lot more funny.
Did you know memory champions do this to remember tons of information? Yep, our brains love the absurd, the unusual, the bizarre, the hilarious…
Here is one to try…
Soothing Visualization – Make it Wild or Funny!
Guide your child (or yourself) to imagine a peaceful place—floating on a soft cloud, walking through a magical forest, or even riding a friendly dragon. Encourage them to notice the sights, sounds, and feelings of their calm place.
But here’s where the magic happens—take those pesky negative emotions and turn them into something ridiculous!
Like…turn a scary alligator into… a giant, icecream cone? Yum, Yum, Yum!
In our house, we have a bedtime story hero armed with a special potion of ‘dragon breath’ (aka unbrushed teeth) to defeat anything bigger and scarier than us. And when all else fails? Well, let’s just say stinky gas bubbles are our ultimate weapon of defense. My kid always knows exactly where they came from.
So tonight, before bed, try it out. What’s the funniest way you can make negative thoughts disappear POOF! like that?
Hi there! I truly believe that children are born wise, and we adults have so much to learn from them. Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost touch with our innate wisdom—buried under all the “grown-up” stuff society throws at us.
I see every moment with my kids as a chance to learn, and I love sharing those little lessons with you. I hope they bring you a smile or a fresh perspective.
I’d also love to hear from you—what’s something you’ve learned from a child in your life recently? Did it make you pause and look inward, even just a little?
My book series, A Nourishing Cookie Story, is packed with these kinds of lessons, inspired by kids. You can check them out on Amazon, and—watch them come to life on my YouTube channel.