How to schedule your tantrums
Dandy: “I am going to have a tantrum one day too. Everyone in this house has one.”
Cookie: “You can have it tomorrow. Do it in the morning.”
Dandy: “Why?”
Cookie: “Because I will be in school!”
Genius. Absolute genius! What if we took that at face value—schedule your meltdown.
Think about it. We don’t take out the trash every time we throw something in. We wait until trash day. So why do we feel the need to react to every little emotional trigger the moment it happens? What if, instead of letting our emotions spill all over everyone, we scheduled a time to deal with them?
But here’s the thing—waiting too long might mean the emotional garbage piles up, and nobody wants that. So how do we create a meltdown schedule that helps us respond instead of react in the moment while reducing the impact on others?
What does “Scheduling a Meltdown” Look Like?
A tiny Time In:
Sometimes emotions hit hard and fast. In these moments, scheduling a meltdown could mean giving yourself a short, intentional break. Step away, count to ten, breathe, and remind yourself: I’ll deal with this later. Maybe later is in five minutes, after a quick walk, or even after dinner when you have more headspace. Practice can make this our default mode of reaction. Time-in.
Daily Check-Ins:
Set aside a regular time every day—maybe during our morning coffee or before bed—to reflect on how we are feeling. A quick journal entry, a moment of deep breathing, or even a chat with ourselves in the mirror can help us clear the clutter before it builds up.
The “Tantrum Window”:
Giving ourselves permission to fully feel our emotions at a scheduled time. Feeling frustrated? Tell yourself, I’ll vent about this at 8 PM for five minutes. Then, when the time comes, let it out—write it, say it, move your body, and release it. The funny thing? By the time we get to our tantrum appointment, we might not even need it anymore!
Teach It to Kids:
Help children practice by using fun, playful terms. “Let’s put our grumpy feelings in the ‘Later Box’ and check on them after snack time.” This way, they learn to delay reaction and revisit emotions with more clarity. This might take a lot of patience, practice but will surely pay-off.
Mindful Micro-Moments:
If waiting isn’t an option, creating space in the moment can be as simple as taking a deep breath and naming what’s happening—“I’m feeling overwhelmed, I’ll take a moment.” This small pause can help shift from reacting to responding thoughtfully.
Daily Emotional “Decluttering”:
Just like trash day, set a routine time to check in and process feelings before they overflow. It might be a walk, meditation, or even an imaginary “meltdown dance party” to shake off the day’s tension.
The beauty of scheduling our emotions is that it gives us control. It teaches us—and our kids—that feelings don’t have to explode like fireworks. Instead, they can be acknowledged, processed, and released at the right time and place.
Respond, not react is what we came here to learn. Most difficult lesson if you ask me.